Last month I turned 36 and I was planning on doing a big “36 things I’ve learned in my life” kind of email to celebrate that.
Then the Coronavirus hit, so I never got to it.
So I’m gonna do it today.
Here’s 36 things I’ve learned over the years about life, money, happiness, business and more.
1. How you treat yourself is how you treat others. If you’re overly critical of yourself, or you demand perfection of yourself, you’ll do the same to others. Fixing the relationship you have with yourself is the first step to having better relationships with others.
2. The majority is almost always wrong. Your average person is broke, overweight and unfulfilled. Yet everyone is so eager to follow what everyone else is doing. Why? You’re better off being on the other side of the majority. Because they’re almost always wrong.
3. When you’re young or just starting out, investing in your skill set is more important than investing in the stock market. If you can learn to be a better copywriter, or if you can learn to build an online business you’ll make a whole lot more money than you will putting that money in the stock market. Invest in yourself.
4. Almost everything in your life is controlled by your upbringing. If you grew up in a family that pinched pennies and was always worried about money, then you’re gonna be the same. If you grow up in a family that expects you to be perfect, then you’re going to treat your employees like that. Everything that happened to us as kids, is how we operate as adults.
5. Everyone should know how to manage their money. It’s a a travesty that this isn’t taught in school. It’s more relevant than algebra or learning the table of elements. Learn how to invest. And learn how to spend less than you make. And do everything in your power to stay out of debt.
6. Get in touch with your emotions. I spent 33 years of my life walled-off from my emotions and not understanding any of them. If you asked me how I felt, I’d respond with “fine” or “good” – that was the extent of my emotions. It wasn’t until I started some intense therapy/coaching with Brent that I learned to identify what I was actually feeling. And simply doing that has opened a whole new world for me.
7. On that same note, learning how to have boundaries will make your life better in every aspect. It gives you more freedom in business. It makes your relationships better. And it makes you feel better about yourself. A person without boundaries is at the whims of everyone around them. But once you have boundaries, you’re in control of what you “let in” and what you don’t.
8. If the traditional “marriage, kids, house” road is not for you, that’s perfectly fine. I took a lot of shit from my mom in my 20’s because I was more focused on building my business than I was with any of that. That worked out well for me. I took a different path, and that’s perfectly fine to do.
9. The best time to take chances in business is when you’re young. Once you have kids, a mortgage and people relying on you, it’s really hard to start a new business. Or to leave a high-paying job. Most people say “I’ll do it someday”, but that never happens cause life gets in the way. Take the chances while you’re young and have nothing to lose.
10. You can still be wildly successful and NOT be a work-a-holic. This is one I’ve learned the hard way. It’s a work in progress for me. But you don’t have to work 10 hours a day, 7 days a week to be successful. That will just drive you to burnout. And leave you unhappy.
11. You need someone in your life that you can talk to about anything. Someone that won’t judge. Someone that will simply sit and listen. Most people don’t have this, but it’s insanely valuable if you have it.
12. Figure out what you’re willing to pay MORE for and do it. I overpay for certain things like my assistant, my personal trainer, my therapist. They’re all expensive. And luxuries. But they make my life a lot better, so I’m glad to do it.
13. Buying a house is not a sound investment. If you’re buying a house, it should be more about your living situation, better neighborhood, better schools etc. Home ownership is like a religion in America. We’ve been sold the idea that it’s a great investment. Well run the numbers, it’s not. If you’re just looking for a good investment, stick that money in an index fund and you’ll get a better return.
14. All of the wealthiest people I know have one skill that they’re really good at. In our world that’s usually copywriting, running ads, or the ability to build a team and scale. You can’t be a generalist. You gotta have one thing that you’re great at.
15. Narrow your focus – less products, less offers – focus on the one or two winners and scale the crap out of them.
16. Don’t get to the point where you think you know everything – or you think you’re too good to keep learning. I made this mistake about 6 years ago. I thought I knew everything about copywriting. I was sorely mistaken. You have to be an eternal student. Always be open to learning.
17. Understand that money means different things to different people. To you, money might mean freedom. To your spouse, money might mean security. Which is fine. But you need to understand where each other is coming from. Otherwise you’ll be on different pages everytime an argument about money comes up. Money is a very emotional issue, so understanding what it means to you, and what it means to your spouse is critical.
18. On that same note, if you’re looking for money to fulfill you – or to make you happy, you’re going to be disappointed. Money DOES make your life better. But if you have a hole in your soul, money isn’t going to fill that (neither will cars, fame, houses or sex).
19. The best offers are always simple. They sound simple. They’re simple for the buyer to implement. Humans crave things that are simple and easy to understand. So do everything you can to simplify whatever it is that you’re selling.
20. Be more realistic about things in your life. You’re probably not gonna take your business from $10 million to $100 million in a year. And you’re not going to learn copywriting today, and be making 7 figures within a year. That’s just not realistic. I know people in our industry are all about doing the impossible. But being more realistic about the results you can accomplish is actually a better state to be in.
21. Don’t try to be a lone wolf and do it on your own. I made this mistake for many years. I acted like I didn’t need any help. I could do it on my own. So I avoided meeting people and forming relationships. I wanted to prove I didn’t need anyone’s help. This is a bad idea. The more support you have around you, the better off you’ll be. Don’t try to do it alone.
22. On that same note, NOT paying for a coach or a mentor is a mistake. I did this for a long time. Cause I thought I could figure it out on my own. But the first time I ponied up $25,000 to be coached by David Deutsch, my copy improved by leaps and bounds. I went from making like $220k a year to $2.2 million a year within two years. Think that was a good ROI? Yep. A good coach can dramatically speed up your progress.
23. Have something “else” you’re into besides your business. Your business can’t be the only thing in your life. My something “else” is helping dog rescues. Yours might be playing basketball, drawing, or restoring old cars. Whatever it is, just have something else in your life besides your business. You’ll be better off because of it.
24. Follow your gut when it comes to people. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve had bad feelings about, and my relationship with them turns into a disaster. If I would have trusted my gut, and my original instincts, I would have avoided a lot of trouble.
25. If a woman comes to you with a problem, she doesn’t want you to solve it for her. She just wants you to listen. She wants to “empty” all the garbage that’s piling up inside her. She doesn’t want you to be “Mr. Fix It” and solve her problem. Just sit there and listen. This took me a long time to learn. And it would have saved me a lot of headaches had I learned it sooner. She just wants you to listen, that’s it.
26. Sometimes the people closest to you will be the least supportive of you. I’ve mentioned before that my mom was never supportive of me beeing an entrepreneur. In fact she was downright demeaning about it. This is not uncommon though. A lot of the least supportive people in your life are those closest to you. They struggle to see you as anything other than what you are right now.
27. Just because someone is an “expert” doesn’t mean they know what’s best for you. I learned this the hard way after listening to 3 different gastroenterologists tell me that the food I ate had no affect on my Crohn’s disease. Eventually I did my own research, and realized that the food I ate had more of an affect than anything else. And once I changed my diet, I felt lightyears better. So just because someone with credentials tells you something, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily true.
28. Find some form of exercise that you enjoy, and keep doing it. I was lucky enough to get bitten by the strength training bug about 10 years ago. I had never worked out until that point. Then I got really into it. And now I actually enjoy a heavy deadlift session. Or seeing my squat numbers go up. I feel better at 36 than I did at 26. And a lot of that has to do with my workouts and how I eat.
29. Every 3 years I look back and realize how dumb I was 3 years ago. At 36, I realize I was an idiot at 33. At 30 I realized how dumb I was at 27. If you’re not regularly seeing how dumb you were before, you’re probably not growing. And that’s a problem.
30. Save for a rainy day. I’m sure there’s a bunch of people right now wishing they had saved more money. Americans are traditionally terrible at saving money. Whatever money we get, we spend it. Well I’ve been through a lot of ups and downs with money, and the main thing that got me through them was having money saved. It’s not sexy to save money, but it’s smart. Have at least 6-12 months of money in your rainy day fund. Cause you’re gonna have a rainy day sooner or later.
31. Do things simply because you enjoy them. I spent years not watching TV because I thought that meant I was wasting time as an entrepreneur. But now-a-days, I love watching an hour of TV at the end of the day. And it doesn’t have to be something I learn from either. I like watching Mad Men simply because it’s a good show. And that’s perfectly ok. Do things because you simply enjoy them.
32. Learn from people who have been in your shoes. When I sold my business in 2017, one of the first things I did was talk to 4 or 5 guys who had sold a business and asked them what I should do. They all had different advice, but one of the main things they all mentioned was that I should take at least 6-12 months off and just enjoy life. Which was terrifying. I was planning on jumping right back in and starting a new business. But I listened to them and took a year off – and they were 100% right. I needed that time off. So listening to people who have been in your shoes is crucial.
33. If you’re a man, you probably have no idea the amount of doubt that runs through your woman’s head all day. You think you’re enjoying a fun time in bed, and she’s thinking “does my chin look big from this angle?”. She cooks you dinner, and all you’re thinking about is eating. She’s worried sick whether or not you’re gonna like it. She puts on a new dress for date night, and you think she looks great. Inside she’s wondering if it makes her hips look big. This goes on inside her head all day. And you can ease that doubt with some simple words like “this pasta you made is incredible”. Or “you look amazing in that dress”. Men aren’t really filled with this much doubt, so it’s hard for us to grasp. Just know that it’s there and you can make her day a lot better with just a few words.
34. Sleep is the least sexy, yet most important factor for your health. If you sleep 6 hours a night and you’re tossing and turning, you’re going to feel like shit. But if you get a good 8 hours in – and you’re hitting an hour or two of deep sleep, you’ll feel like a million bucks. Sleep is a lot like working out. If you can string 30 nights of good sleep together it compounds – just like if you workout for 30 days.
35. We’re living in a pretty incredible time right now. I was thinking back to how little information there was about online marketing when I started in 2005. Now you can literally learn everything about it on Youtube. Hell, I have like 15 videos on my Youtube channel that are better than most $5,000 courses. The opportunity available to anyone with an internet connection is pretty mind blowing when you think about it.
36. Prioritize what matters to you. I mentioned a few months ago, that one of my goals for 2020 was working less, and getting out and being more social. Quarantine has pretty much up-ended those plans. But my point still stands. If money is important for you, prioritize that. If spending time with your spouse is important for you, prioritize that. Your priorities need to be what matters to YOU. Not everyone else.
So there ya have it…
36 things I’ve learned in my 36 years on this earth.
That took me like 2.5 hours to type.
So hopefully you got something out of it.
If you know of someone who would enjoy this email, feel free to forward it on to them.
Enjoy your Sunday,
– Justin
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