Note: This email is one that I sent out back in February. Probably one of my most liked emails by readers. I have a bunch of new readers on my list now, so sharing it again.
Many moons ago, I read a great article by my pal Craig Ballantyne that detailed his “10 rules” for success.
The article was all about things that were important to Craig, such as…
Getting up at the same time everyday…
Not checking email before 11 AM…
Not getting too high or too low during the ups-and-downs of the business.
I remember the article being super insightful for me.
And over the years I’ve kind of created my own version of these rules as well.
For me, my “rules” are more like “guiding principles”.
They’re not so rigid.
But they set the frame for how I want my business and my life to look.
And they start with one I’ve been writing about a lot, which is…
1. Your business can’t be your only “thing”
This is the top one for me for good reason.
It’s something I struggle with.
Anytime I have free time, I hop on my laptop and work.
I ran myself ragged back in 2015-2017 doing this.
Working 10-12 hours a day…
Working on weekends…
Not taking anytime out to have fun…
Or to simply do things I enjoy.
That led to burnout.
And it’s one of the reasons I took an entire year off after I sold my stake in my company in 2017.
I was exhausted.
And I needed a break.
So now, I’m focusing more on having a life outside of my business.
And for me that means…
Making new friends (specifically non internet marketing friends)…
Dating more…
Playing sports I enjoy…
Taking real vacations where I don’t work the whole time…
All of that.
I learned the hard way that if your business is your “only thing” it will not end well.
You’ll be stressed to the gills.
And you’ll just hit a wall.
It simply doesn’t work.
So #1 for me is making sure my business isn’t my only thing going on.
And that kind of leads in to my second rule, which is…
2 – Be gentle on yourself
I have a tendency to be very critical of myself.
Meaning I have an unrealistic view of what I should be able to accomplish.
Which isn’t surprising.
This is exactly how my mom is.
It’s what I lived with 24/7 growing up.
When I was a kid, I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes (I had to be perfect).
If I got a 3.8 in school, I didn’t hear “congratulations, great job”.
I heard “why did you get a B in Algebra instead of an A?”
That’s how it worked in our house.
All the focus was on what went wrong…
Not what I did right.
And I still carry that with me to a large extent.
(Although 2 years of therapy with my coach, Brent, has helped a lot)
But being gentle on myself is one of my rules…
Cause it’s so easy to beat yourself up.
And be critical of yourself.
I actually had this happen back in 2018 when I first started my coaching business.
I just assumed I was gonna launch my coaching business and I’d be making a few million bucks a year again.
Well that didn’t happen.
It took time to build.
And to learn the ropes of how to run a coaching business.
My inner critic started beating myself up about this.
Cause he expected me to be successful right away.
After all, I’m Justin Goff…
But that’s not how things work.
I had to be gentle on myself and understand that the whole coaching arena was foreign to me.
Sure I had had a lot of success with info products and supplements in the past…
But this was a new world.
And I had a lot to learn.
So I had to be gentle on myself…
And not be overly critical.
This is one of those lessons that will save you a lot of frustration and stress if you put it to use.
So that’s my second rule…
Be gentle on yourself.
Now my last rule, is one I’ve talked about in my emails before.
And it’s changed my life in more ways than I can explain.
And that’s…
3. People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you
People always talk about having “boundaries”.
But I didn’t know what a “boundary” was until I was 33 years old.
I had no idea I could stand up for what I wanted.
And that I could tell people “no”.
So for most of my life, I just let people walk all over me…
Which led to a lot of anger…
And feeling helpless.
My anger would boil-up inside of me for days, weeks and even months at a time.
Eventually it’d come out in a fit of rage.
In the past I’ve sent raging emails to business partners (sorry Allen).
I’ve blown up on ex-girlfriends…
This was a normal thing for me.
And it was all because I had no idea how to set boundaries with people.
I didn’t think I was allowed to.
Because I basically grew up in a house with ZERO boundaries.
My mom just dictated everything.
She was Emperor Putin.
And what she said ruled all.
My opinion didn’t matter.
My feelings didn’t matter.
And after 18 years of living like that, I thought that was just normal.
So I kept on living like that.
If something bothered me, I’d just keep my mouth shut and not say anything.
If I didn’t want to do something, I never spoke up.
I just gave in and did things for people simply because I couldn’t say “no”.
And guess what?
If you let people treat you like shit, they’ll keep doing it.
They’ll walk all over you.
They won’t respect your time.
And this happens with friends…
Spouses…
Employees…
Clients…
But when you start to change this…
And you set real rules for what you’ll accept in your life…
And what you won’t accept…
That’s when things change.
People respect that.
They won’t walk all over you.
And you start to have your own power.
A power that isn’t at the whim of everyone else.
For me, that’s been a massive change.
Simply setting boundaries with the people in my life so they know what I’m ok with, and what I’m not ok with.
And this can be really hard to do.
Especially if you’re like me and grew up without the faintest idea of what a boundary is.
But it can be learned.
And the more you do it, the more you’ll start to see your own self-worth improving.
Cause you’re putting YOU first.
And not someone else.
That’s a biggie for me.
Hope this was helpful for you…
Hat tip to ole’ Craig Ballantyne for inspiring this.
Enjoy your Saturday…
– Justin
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