I’ve got a lot on my plate this morning getting ready for our Copy Accelerator call, so today’s email is a re-print of one of my favorites. Enjoy!
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One of the most eye-opening things I’ve learned from my coach, Brent, is that just because I would do something a certain way, doesn’t mean that other people would do it that way.
Case in point…
About a year ago, I was helping a friend of mine to start his own business.
And during the process, he opened up to me that he had a LOT of credit card debt (over $100,000 of debt).
This was something he had never really told anyone.
So after he told me about it, I offered to help him put together a plan to pay the debt off.
“This is not going to be easy” I said.
“This is a shitload of debt. But if you bust your ass for 5-6 years, you could pay it off”
He agreed.
And said he was ready to go “all in”.
So we got to work on a plan…
We figured out who he would pay back first.
And how much money he needed to make each month.
I told him very bluntly…
“You’re going to have to work non-stop. And probably need a second job as well”
I told him the dream of starting his own business would have to be put on hold for a bit.
Paying off the debt was more important.
So after a few days of running the numbers, we finally had a plan in place.
And to my surprise he jumped right in.
He was operating like a Navy SEAL in regards to his work ethic.
He was logging how many hours he worked a week.
And had a detailed breakdown of the money he was bringing in.
It was awesome to see.
But after a few weeks, things slowly started to fall apart.
He stopped working as much as he was before.
And slowly but surely slid back into his old ways.
Since I was the guy who volunteered to help him with all of this, I was quite upset.
I felt like I cared more than he did.
And to make matters worse, this was one of my good friends.
So I wanted to see him get out of the hole.
After stewing in my own anger for a bit, I eventually talked to my coach, Brent, about it on one of our weekly calls.
“I just don’t understand why he’s not working like 14 hours a day. If I was in that situation, working would be the only thing I’d do” I said.
“Oh I’m sure you definitely would.” replied Brent.
Brent paused for a second…
I could tell he was going to say something profound.
“But, guess what?”
“What?” I replied.
“He’s…not…you…Justin”
There was a long moment of silence after he said this.
And that’s when it hit me.
The thought that my buddy wouldn’t do the same thing as I would, did not even cross my mind.
I just assumed that because I would do it…
Everyone would do it!
Brent kept going…
“Of course you would be working 14 hours a day, and busting your ass to pay off the debt. I’d probably do the same. But you have to understand that he’s not you. If you want to help him, you have to meet him where he’s at.”
I remember feeling a sense of clarity wash over me when Brent said this.
Cause it just removed this huge blindspot I had to the whole situation.
It did not even cross my mind that my buddy wouldn’t do the same thing as I would.
Yet, this is what was causing all of the frustration I was feeling.
I was expecting him to act like me.
Which is dumb.
But this kind of thinking is common among entreprenurs.
We expect everyone around us to do the same stuff we would.
We expect people on our team to work weekends if something needs done.
Or that they’ll be up until 2 AM to have everything ready for a launch like we would. .
But that’s not realistic.
Because that’s not the way normal people operate.
And if you’re always expecting them to act the same way you would, you’re gonna be frustrated.
Cause it ain’t gonna happen.
So the big thing to take away from this is that you have to meet people where “they’re at”.
You can’t expect them to do what you’d do.
What they’re capable of is unique to them.
And it’s your job to understand what that capability is.
Keep that in mind…
– Justin
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