Note: This is Part 1 in a little series I’m gonna do on things I’ve learned about mental and emotional blocks from working with my coach
Yesterday was day one of my intensive with my coach, Brent Charleton.
And I have a feeling this intensive is going to be very triggering.
Why?
Cause this one is all about my relationship with my mom.
If you’ve read any of my emails, you know my mom and I don’t really get along.
She was never really there for me growing up…
She was the ultimate perfectionist so nothing I did was ever good enough…
She was abusive, and would regularly blow up and take it out on me…
And here’s what’s interesting…
All of this stuff that went on when I was a kid, still affects me today.
It affects decisions I make in my business…
It affects who I date…
Hell it affects what I say (and what I don’t say) when I write this email every morning.
If you would have told me that 5 years ago, I probably would have said that was some Freudian psychobabble.
But that’s not the case.
I’ve seen the direct links.
And that’s why I’m working with Brent to unwind some of these things.
In fact, I’ll share a recent example that we worked on…
When I started my print newsletter back in July, I had some serious writer’s block when it came to writing the first issue.
Why?
Because I wanted people to be impressed by it.
It wasn’t enough for the newsletter to be “good”.
I wanted people to be really impressed when they read it.
Well guess what?
This is a direct link to how I grew up.
Cause I learned growing up that I’d get more love and approval from my mom if she was impressed with me.
That’s how our house worked.
The whole idea of unconditional love, and being loved simply for being you wasn’t really a thing in my house.
So all my focus was on trying to do things to impress her to get that love.
So I put a ton of effort into things like…
Being the best golfer in the state…
Getting really good grades…
Being a great artist…
I was always trying to do things that impressed her.
Cause that was one of the few times I felt she was proud of me.
I learned that being myself wasn’t enough.
I had to be impressive.
And like I said, all of that this still affects me today.
Cause when I started my print newsletter, the main thing giving me writer’s block was…
“I want people to be impressed by it”.
Do you see how direct that link is?
The same shit that affected me when I was a 14 year old kid, is affecting me now as a 36 year-old man.
And here’s the thing…
This happens to everyone.
The shit that happens in our childhood doesn’t just disappear.
It really sets our frame for life.
And thats why I think it’s so important to dig into this stuff and work on it.
Anyways…
I’m planning on sharing a little nugget like this every morning in my email for the next few days.
I think you’ll relate to a bunch of it.
And find it helpful.
Feel free to let me know if any of these emails strike a chord with you.
Enjoy your Saturday.
– Justin
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